Tuesday, October 21, 2014

VenuG Presents: Econimic Outlook in India after Diesel Price deregulation




K Venugopal Menon
Look Dear Right Wing Bhakts,
You may crack Jokes,
About # AmulBaby
# HellYeah
Americai Narayanan
Or
Sanjay Jha,
But do care to look,
CLOSELY AT THIS PICTURE.
This IMHO
is the real picture
Of # maharesults
&
# HaarYaaNaa
Not absolute majority in Haryana
Not Largest Single Party in Maharashtra,
Both for BJP.
The Fact of the matter is,
BJP won less seats,
Got lesser votes,
In both Haryana & Maharashtra,
As compared to
# LokSabha2014
I support Congress & Its Policies,
Oppose BJP Policies,
Neither am I a bilnd pet poodle of Rahul Baba
Nor a NaMo Troll.
If today, BJP Releases the blocked Kolkata Metro
Project # JokaBBDBag
& #RajarhatHowrah
Track funds,
I shall cast my vote to BJP,
Neither Congress Nor TMC.
CPM is not an option to me, for the Aam Janata
Of # Kolkata & # WestBengal
If BJP scraps # MNREGA or
# JNURM OR # MPLAD Schemes, shall ask voters
to punish BJP.
Note: If MNREGA & MPLAD schemes are
scrapped,
The benefits arrived at by Reduction of Diesel
prices by MoP by Rs 3.37 & Sure Shot impending
reduction in #RBI rates by 50 basis points, by RBI
Governor Mr Raghuram Rajan, will be nullified, as
both the schemes combined are Rs20000 Crores +
Rs5 Crores * 546 MPs = Rs 2730 Crores. JNURM
is Rs 15000 Crores.
Rs37730 Crores removed from the M1 shall have a
StagDeflationary effect.
Indistries affected would be,
# Telecom # Auto # TwoWheeler
# FMCG
# WhiteGoods
# PackagedSnack
# AeratedDrinks
The firms likely to be affected are, Airtel,
Vodafone, Idea Cellular, Tata Telecom, Hero
Motors, Bajaj Auto, Hindustan Unilever, Proctor &
Gamble, Colgate Palmolive, Godrej Soaps, Tata
Chemicals , TVS Industries, Videocon, Whirlpool,
Electrolux, Samsung India, Sony, Haeir,
LG Electronics, Godrej Soaps, Godrej Foods, Ruchi
Soya, Pepsico, Coca Cola, Parle Products.
The chain effect will be on
A) # MakeInIndia Fails as the above are all the
focus area of Make in India viz #Manufacturing
B) Lack of Credit offtake due to lack of demand,
from Tier II & Tier III cities & Rural Market, which
is 300% of the Urban Market.
C) The lack of disposable income, would also
affect, Textile industry, affecting Steel, Machine
Tools.
Conclusion
Above creates
I) Demand absence.
II) Reduced demand = Deflation.
III) Deflation creates Stagnation
Hence the term
StagDeflatiion repalaces Stagflation.
# Macroeconomic indicators.
Inflation: South Bound.
Interest Rates : South Bound.
Demand: South Bound(if MNREGA, MPLAD,
JNURM fiddled with for 2 years.
If status quo maintained, II & III shall be North
Bound.
Credit offtake North bound if Status quo,
South bound, if Tweaked.
# MicroEconomics
GDP, GNP, NNP, Per Capita Income, is North
Bound, with or without Tweaking.
Due to Crude oil prices staying stable.
This is due to deflation in Europe preventing US &
Allied / G20 forces not trying any
Adventures in Eastern Europe or Middle east.
# GeoPolitics
Europe & US entering difficult phases.
Due to Ukraine Gas.
Advisable holidays during long & cold winter.
Gas prices will rise.
Nymex & Brent Stable.
The phase for Germany , China & India to Rock the
world & rule.
Currency. Rupee entering bullish phase, & lower
crude prices would improve #CAD # BoT # BoP
situation.
Fiscal Deficit to improve.
GDP to 5-5.2% range.
Fiscal Deficit to be likely
= 3-3.5% of the GDP
Foreign Currency Reserves will rise to
$350-400million
On account of lower petroleum product bill
+ Huge FDI inflow into India again due to Crude
not BJP.
Remnimbi, INR & if Deutscheland moves out of €
then DM are Greenbacks of the future.
Happy note to Mr Modi.
I want BJP Government to Tweak, MNREGA
Special reading reccommended to
Dhruv Menon Saswata Chakraborty Abir Satsangi
And any other student of Economics, Commerce,
Finance.
Technology Graduates please
Either take up Navratna Jobs
Or join a B-School till 2016.
# Careers are in Mfg
For Labour.
Focus shifted to # ShramevJayate from #termITES
#ITI not #IIT
Class XIIth kids
#Education
Anything but computer engineering.
Civil, Mechanical , Chemichals, Mettalurgy,
Electrical in that order.
#MfgTech not #TechMahindra
Medicine, Fashion, Film Production, Video
Technology, Law, Design, BioTech, Pharmachology
or Medicine are the future 10 years.
#PreChristmasEconomicReport
Late by 4 months.
Waited till Maharashtra Ekections.
Food prices stable or south bound.
#Venuspeak
Iti Vaartaah
Shubh Ratri — feeling Enlightened.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

VenuG Presents : Kurukshetra & HR. 10th BPS(Bipartite wage Settlement), a comment of an Amazed Observer on Generation Gap in Banking, Mahabharat UFBU versus IBA

ORIGINALLY POSTED IN BANK WAGE REVISION 2012 Group. REPOSTED Here.
Thank You
*************************

Well Comrades,
Please Note : I am an ordinary. member of SBOA.
I have attended 8 triennial conferences as a
delegate from 6 states Rajasthan, Gujarat, Delhi,
Maharashtra, UP & West Bengal.
I took a backstep last year, by not opting to be a
delegate to enable young Comrades to attend
triennial to build a second line of Comrades.
We sent the youngest zonal council from Kolkata
where I am currently with 60% of delegation
under the AGE of 35 in tune with the
demographics of our beloved country India.
So I am on both sides.
UFBU & Youngistan!!!
I wish to share my stand,
On the recent unfortunate developments in our
long March for a fruitful & beneficial wage
settlement. I personally feel that, the fissures
among us bankers, all of whom have a common
goal, early, better wage package for our families.
I have 29years of active services as Officer
(Syndicate Bank) 2 years as clerk in 3 Banks
rural(Jaipur Nagaur Anchalik Gramin Bank) , old
private(The Bank of Rajasthan Limited) , PSU
(Bank of Baroda). 1 year as Inspector Customs
at Palam Airport)
I have been a member of AIBEA in clerical cadre
& SBOA (Syndicate Bank Officers' Association)
affiliated to AICOBO then AIBOC as Well as
strongly support AINBOF(which achieved for us
second option for pension. I personally had
sought on various occasions sought the
permission to file a suit in Rajasthan High Court
for 2nd option for pension from Comrade K S
Shetty ex General Secretary SBOA and Comrade
Shetty had in a very calm matured & logical way
explained to me "Menon, courts these days pass
outrageously frivolously bourgeoise decisions.
We Are constantly negotating on this issue with
the IBA, and are confident of a positive outcome.
If you go to court, our way for negotiating shall
be permanently blocked. Further if the courts
take long time, making the members restive &
impatient, we might face a splitsville. And
eventually if the courts upto SC refused your plea
then the door to 2nd option for pension shall be
permanently closed. This shall be disservice on
your part, to the half a million Comrades of the
Banking community. You may not be privy but I
am, to the fact that, when some faction of AIBOC
came in the way of 2nd Option of pension
Comrade K S Shetty took the frontstage along
with Comrade T K Sarkar to form AINBOC at
Kolkata, under the umberella of AIBOC (not
outside not splitsville) AND ACHIEVED 2ND
OPTION FOR PENSION.
Comrade Shetty was wise, I was mature we both
joining achieved what I could have ruined.
My advise.
Avoid splitsville
Avoid Pay Commission (study One Rank One
Pension under pay commission where defence
forces Are a minority)
At the moment UFBU is the largest umberella
employee front in the world. With pay commission
Bankers will be just 25% of total employees
hence a minority hence ignored shunned &
unheard, crushed so BEWARE)
My stand has always been the same from when I
joined SBOA. "United we stand, Didi did we fall"
If the anger & anguish & discontentment results
in settlement of issues, then there is a purpose of
that anger & anguish.
But, when I know that, in the current environment,
when RBI is likely to issue Bank licences on the
Tap, our situation has become the same as that
of those industries opened up for private sector
like Telecom and Aviation.
I'm sure the UFBU Comrades at the helm of
affairs at the BPS negotiating table are well
aware of these facts & plain truth. I as a veteran
& an experienced Banker cannot behave like an
Ostrich burying my face in sand and say "Night
has fallen" when I know the fact that it is a bright
sunny Day. I can see the writing on the wall,
can't you?
The Government is hell bent on gaining control
over RBI thankfully it has failed to had it not been
the RBI SBI would have been another Lehman
Brothers!!!
What is the best route left before us, our unions
&, associations ?
A) United Front
B) We must communicate with leaders costantly
through letters faxes, emails.
C) Refrain from abusive posts, telephone, Mobile
calls & messages.
D) enter into dialogue with UFBU constituents.
E) communicate to them our POV
F) Listen to their POV.
G) Reach a common ground through negotiation
& dialogue.
H) plan a common protest after a consensual
discussion.
J) Achieve a settlement.
Note ��
1 By not joining a call given By your parent
majority unions(employee or Offocers' Unions /
Associations) we are demonstrating to IBA, MoF,
Government, Industry & Corporate world the
disunity among us! Such disunity has been used
By Babar & Lord Clive to rule over Such a huge
population & we Bankers are only a million in
strength!!! 1000000, or 1030158 to be exact. As
on 31-03-2014.
2 During demonstrations, rallies, dharna &, strikes
Government posts plain clothed intelligence
bereau Officer in what security agencies call in
'Mufti'
3. Based upon the reports of these IB Officials
does the Government, IBA, MoF, Department of
Banking as well as UFBU negotiators &
constituents decide on the next course of
action / strategy.
4. The plain stark truth is that we are at the
moment heavily disunited. There is a Great deal
of disunity among/between us!!
4)There Are 3 Groups
1 consisting of newly
recruited young Bankers.
 2 Associations constituents of wage negotiating Umbrella Organisation UFBU
3 We older Bankers, who are painfully watching both
the parties fight each other like Two valiant
fighters both not giving up.
While New Bankers Are like Djokovik, vibrant, strong, full of energy,  constantly action won his feet, shuffling  constantly, shuffling, shifting weight from one feet to another.
Trade unions Are like Rafael Nadal, old, experienced , wily,  fighter, schemer, cool, silent, hurt, injured, but yet not giving up the fight. Constantly reinventing himself to outwit the young agile Djoker.
4 Allegations traded By both,  is the yellow slazenger/Puma tennis
Ball,  lobbed & volleyed at each other with stronger force each time .

5 We the other Bankers, who Are neither young, nor with in Unions or UFBU,  Are very much like Pankaj Kapoor & James Jaffrey in The Maggi Hot &, Sweet Tomato Chilli Saree TVC see HERE
OR
 Like the Blind Dhritrashtra (Om Puri)
in the classic Kundan Shah Satire "Jaane bhi do
yaaron",
shouting intrermittantly "Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai" see HERE VERY FUNNY.

 6. The IBA is like Shakuni, adding fuel to
fire with Mahabharat like pay commission idea. In
the end we Bankers will be like 5 pandavas and
their pet dog going to Kailash parvat to attain
moksha.

Conclusion,
If Draupadi had not said "Andhey ka beta andha" Mahabharat would not have
happened. Or even Kaurav & Pandava had shown
maturity Duryodhan had ignored Draupadi's snide
remark & walked away, and continued with ruling
Hasthinapur the story would end as
"And they lived  happily ever after."
synopsis.
Draupadi Youngsters
Duryodhan UFBU
Shakuni IBA + some instigating people asking
Draupadi to ask for Duryodhan blood to tie her
hair.
And me dear reader, am the non parties, neutral Observer,
 Sanjaya who, is watching carefully, attentively and reporting the Kurukshetra Warren, from Mahabharat to the Blind Kaurava King & Duryodhana's father King Dhritarashtra.
Hindustan Times
Ganesh ji writing Mahabharat from Ved Vyas's continuous utterances.
Should we blame Ganesh ji? No!
Draupadi? No!
Duryodhan? No!
We Should All
Unitedly fight Shakuni.
Om Shanti
UFBU zindabad
BPS zindabad
Employees unity zindabad
Workers unity zindabad
Trade unions long live
UFBU March on
BPS negotiators March on
Awaaaaaaz do
Hum ek Hain
Arrey zor se Awaaaaaaz do Hum ek Hain
Long live PSU Banks
Long live Bankers
Long Live India
Long live Indians
4 hrs · BANKS WAGE REVISI...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

VenuG Presents: Amazon has no chance in Online retail in India. Plus Offline, Online Retail My personal experience.

I had written an earlier post on Online Retail in India titled
"Forbes, Flipkart, Customer Service & VC Funding" link given :->>>>>
(HERE)
That article was as a result of a Rohin Dharmakumar, article in Forbes India, indicating that all was wrong at Flipkart, & That Sachin & Binny Bansal were running Flipkart, like an old boys association of IIT Delhi. He also went on to say, that, Flipkart, was unlikely to raise more than $50 million from VCs & PE Firms, market was valueing Flipkart, more than it actually worth of. There was a lot of buzz for & against this Forbes India Cover Story,
At that time, Mahesh Murthy, was in support of Flipkart Valuations, public at large was making fun of him, Sachin Bansal wrote a letter to Forbes India editor, saying that, Rohin, did not ask any questions , Editor Ashish Sinha, Supported Rohin, via a blog post on Forbes.


I immediately wrote that post, extempore in 30 minutes, it happens to be, one of my most tead all time posts.
   What followed is history. PE firms fell over each other to fund Flipkart, they got $150,milliom then, and since then, many rounds of funding.

Latest being $1 billion.

   The present Situation.
 
    Amazon has finally seen n opportunity in India, even Jeff Bezos has visited India.






      I have seen a couple of posts from Mahesh Murthy, poking fun at Flipkart's business / revenue model & the acquisition merry go round between Flipkart, Snapdeal & Myntra. The three top online retail brands(add Jabong)

     Every pink journalist, from every pink paper, worth his pink chaddi, is trying to be chaddi-buddy of Jeff Bezos, by doing ghud chadi on Bezos' lap. :-)

   Can't you guys realise boys & girls?
Its a chilly game of advertisements silly!
Amazon means big budget, deep pockets &
Moolah & works.
Snapdeal & Flipkart are run by Bania boys.
"Bania agar ek dumdi kharchega to dus kamawega!!"
If a Bania spends 1 dime, he'd bearn ten out of it!!
Gar padto koni khawey to maal koni bechego.
If it isn't worth it,(affordable/profitable) he won't sell anything & will sit quietly.


So when I found, digital marketers, journalist & PR professionals, started talking more & more about Amazon, critical of Flipkart, I was always tweeting in favour of flipkart.
Reason 1. Flipkart pampers & spoils its customers.
Reason 2. Flipkart Team is one big family, like European Ryder Cup Team. With a great captain & good inter-personal communication.

Reason 3. I'm a following Flipkart since birth. Its response is quick, instant & with a killer instinct, in every adversity, it struck hard at its opponents, and struck gold every simgle time(indicator of a great crisis handling TMT)
Reason 4. No international firm, has been able to stay at top of the market share pyramid for long, as THE GORAS HAVE NO BLOODY CLUE, ABOUT HOW INDIAN CUSTOMER BEHAVES, OR INSIGHT INTO INDIAN CUSTOMERS PSYCHE. NOR ARE GORAS CAPABLE OF REPLICATING INDIAN JUGAAD.


Whether it is ITES, BioTech, MNREGA, or Make in India, Indian enterpreneur/customer
changes colour like a chameleon.


An oppurtunity struck me!
Out of blue, wife asked me to avail my Banks Furniture facility worth Rs1?75 lakhs.

Here I was, with Rs1.75 lakhs, ready to buy
1 Sofa
2 Wardrobe
3 Dressing Table
4 Shoe Rack
5 3* 1.5Ton AC
6 6.5Kg FAU Top loading washing machine.
7 Laptop
8 DVD /Multedia Player with 5.1 home theatre.
9. Air printing e-printing printer/fax /copier/scanner.
10.Computer Table.

I don't  know, how many of you know me personally, online or digitally. If you follow my blog regularly & read all my posts, I'm sure, you know by now, that,
I have shared one of my experiences while buying a smartphone, Micromax Unite2 A106, where, I have in detail explained, how, I got a cheaper , better & upgraded version of Micromax Unite2 A106 offline, and how, all the websites, selling it cheaper(though a lower 4Gb version instead of 8Gb available offline) had NO STOCK AT ALL!!!

HERE IS THAT POST "VenuG Presents: Android Phone Essentials for a low cost phone. Micromax Unite2 A106"

"VenuG IS THE WORST MISER EARTH!!!"
"VenuG IS A HARD NUT TO CRACK"
"VenuG IS A MERKETER'S/SELLER'S NOT GHTMARE"
"VenuG INDIA KA SABSE BADA KANJOOS
MAKKHICHOOS MARWARI HAI"

While buying ANYTHING, even if it is worth Rs100/-
I do my online+offline research.
I squeeze the maximum value out of every Rupee I spend.
I'm not brand concious/faithful.
I look at 5Ps of Marketing.
Product, Price, Process, Place, Promotion(least the better, is padded into price)
You could see me wearing a Rs200 watch or a Rs50 YES YOU HEARD RIGHT RS50 T-Shirt!!!
If I ever bought a phone, fridge, TV, on that given day, it is the best deal on earth.
I damn care, if Priyanka Chopra, Katrina Kaif, Salman Khan, Hrithik Roshan, Kapil Sharma, Aishwarya Rai , Amitabh Bachchan or Tom Dick or Harry is the brand ambassador.


I research on product tech specs as generic,
Then scour online/offline, compare, decide buy OFFLINE 100%
Trust me, never found a better deal online.
Don't gimme that BS Senheimer Earphone for 99/ Kenstar Blender at Rs1
How many got it on 6th? It is like an IRCTC Tatkal lottery either you get it
Here now gone in 30 seconds like Xiaomi phone !!
What are 30000 units as a % of 1.30,billion Indians?
Bolo to?

But wait!
The GenX GenY NextGen buys on line MOSTLY
They earn in $ rate, spend in $ rate, have no savings, buffer, investments.
Once they marry, they don't buy like Mr & Mrs Verma
When Sasudi visits.
But 2% of 1.3billion is 2.6miilion units.
Which is a huge number.

Here is my conclusion relevabte to Kolkata
On the day & day after Flipkart 1billion day
Between Snapdeal & Amazon Diwali sale.
You can slap me if Amazon succeeds in India.
No they can't
Indian is not a book buyer.
There is hardly any inventory of the 1million products Amazon claims.
When they can't gimme the running models of AC, Laptop, Home Theatre, DVD player, Printer, they better shut shop & stop loss.
Online retail is not Dalal Street
No "Book Profits" here. :-)


Picture uploads tomorrow.
Screen shots. :-)
I have a facebook album of 30 pictures.
Try if you can access it. HERE.
Thank You.

I did some research.
First I went to Alexa.

Flipkart.com is still the top "INDIAN WEBSITE IN FROM INDIA"


Then I did some further research , based on my need of Furniture & Gadgets worth Rs1.75,000.00

And here are the conclusions.

In case you disagree, please comment below.
Hope you like my effort.
Thank You & Keep Smiling.
Happy Navratri, Puja , Eid & Deepawali shopping.

Last two days
Have been revelation
My research on # retail
Electronic products
And Furniture.
A) Offline is better than online as far as
product options are available.
B) Brick & Mortar has newer models, better
discounts & offers vis-à-vis Click & Portal.
C) On cost on a budget of Rs200000/- I save
Rs35000 which is equivalent to a 1.5 Ton
3:Star AC or A 40 inch Full HD LED Tv.
D) Post my promotion of Toshiba Full HD LED
TV ,(28k for 32" others were 40k) which I
bought & shared my experience, prices of
brands like Samsung, Sony have fallen.(now
32" is 14-18k 40" 25-35k)
E) Brick & Mortar is undergoing severe
recession. I saw an average footfall of 4-7 in
20000sft stores like Great Eastern, Khosla,
Ezone had 4!!!
F) Amazon.in is an insult to an online retail, it
shows books as result for brand+model
specific query. For 90% products that I
searched, Amazon had no search results, leave
alone no stock!!!
G) Flipkart was better than Amazon, but many
models that I searched, gave similar models of
the same brand, but not the same ones(older
models)
H) Snapdeal is the site you must go to.
Maximum products at cheapest price, also
gives similar products on the side panel.
30 screenshots uploaded by me, are proof that
Amazon cannot deny. At the best, Amazon is a
book store.
Forget beating fliplkart,
It can't even beat Snapdeal, Jabbong(in shoes)
Myntra(in Apparel.
# OnlineRetail
See my album Online Retail in India.
I agree online is cheaper, but the products
available online are older models.
All sites, do not carry all products.
If Amazon has Spice Android One
Flipkart has Micromax Android One
Snapdeal has Karbonn Android One.
Only Flipkart has Xiaomi.
# DelCredere
# KretaSawdhanRahey
# JaagoGrahakJaago

















































Sunday, October 5, 2014

VenuG Presents: Success is a tough process. When you Succeed, you Suck & You Cede. Rome was not built in a day.

You love Gold & Jewellery Don't you?
Do you know how it is made?
A) It is mined by poor miners, when it is deeply buried under gravel.
B) It is heated up 
C) Melted.
D) Moulded
E) Beaten, twisted, buffed, pierced, re-moulded.
F) It is painted minakari.
G) It is baked in furnance again.
F) Stones are set.
i) these stones are mined.
ii) cut.
iii) buffed.
iv) polished
v) chiselled
vi) polished again.
Then you get that beautiful gold ring, with its rock, Minakari Bangle, ear rings, pendant.
Everyone looks at Hrithik Roshan's Dance Steps, 
Salman Khan's Six Pack Abs,
Irrfan Khan's dialogue delivery,
Aishwarya Rai's Miss World Crown,
Amitabh Bachchan in Pa,
Mary Kom's Gold Medal.
Anurag Kashyap's Gangs of Wasseypur,
Not the hard work, grit & struggle,
They went through.
"Road to success is, grit, perseverance, passion, determination, training, learning, failing, persistence, after achieving success, you're  lonely at the top, success is difficult to maintain. " #VenuQuote
Ferrari Lomarghini & Toyota's.
A Car too has manganese, bauxite pass through
Hot Blast Furnace,
Melt Molten, Die cast, moulded, nuts , bolts & screws, pass through Lathe Machine 
Dashboard PVC Plastic from Crude oil to PVC.
You have to pass through hot furnace,
Get hammerred, chiselled, screwed up,
Bolted tightly, you sometimes go nuts.
If you pass through these phases,
You're admired.
Remember this too,
If you reach the pinnacle of glory,
There is no one else at the top.
The climb is easier,
Downhill trip is sometimes deadly.
Be aware, the trip to Top, is full of risk,
There are slips, falls, avalanches.
If you're equipped, trained, dedicated & passionate, you are bound to reach the summit.
But then, not all people prefer the peaks,
Some are happy to be at the Base Camp,
Some like me, prefer, to be at the bottom of the peak, at the Mountaineering institutes.
Who silently climb the peak in the dark,
Without much fanfare,
Then climb down as silently,
As they went up,
But note down all the pitfalls, and tweaks,
For others to learn!
I know, the guys at Base Camp,
Would constantly need my guidance,
I know, no one reaches the summit bypassing me.
Some would not even acknowledge my deeds. In public, but privately they never forget.
But then there are some, who do,
They may be 5% of the universe.
But then, you don't need more than 5% people you know to survive in this big bad world.
Trust me, keep doing these good deeds.
It comes back to you,
In many ways.
When it does,
That's your Moksha.
Om Shanti
Just Chill.
Forget what people say about you.
BE YOURSELF.
Actually was looking for 
"feeling enlightened"
" feeling blissful" is post enlightenment
Will do.

VenuG Presents: Holy Cow!!! Meri Bhains ko danda kyun mara? A fair & lovely case for poor Buffaloes.



Meri Bhains Ko Danda Kyun Maara
Mere khet mein chara charti thee,
Tere Baap Ka Woh Kya Karti thee,
Aaaaa
Aaaaa?
Meri Bhains Ko Danda Kyun Maraaaan?




So Finally this years Durga Puja is over.
Just back from Maddox Square Ballygunge Puja Pandal in South Kolkata,
Which I surprisingly, visited on all the four days this year.
Wife suddenly requested for yoghurt, at 9:30PM,
While going to Lansdowne Market, the only place where, I could find the item,
Wished for by wife. No, she's not in a family way, but we have to go on a early morning Calcutta Tramways new AC Tram sightseeing trip. My sister-in-law, Pretender Didi,  has come from Canada(or Kaneda) to Kolkata, visiting us, at an oppurtune time, during the Durga Puja. I already have taken her #PandalHopping last three days, I'm taking her,  on various excursions, Tram Trip being one, Evening Boat Cruise being another, Bus Trip last, plus loads of Shopping. She being a Jat Sikh, so ALU Parantha & Dahi is the breakfast. So the sudden request for yoghurt. Kolkata Traffic Police, who I must admire & admit, were super efficient, on all 4 days of Puja between 1st & 4th October, 2014, guided me to take a detour, stating that, the beautiful & traditional Durga Idol, at Maddox Square, was being taken for bhasan(immersion) to River Hooghly at Babughat. I saw the idol, for one last time, took some photographs, found my regular dairy closed, another shopkeeper said, "Sir, have no yoghurt, and tomorrow Amul Dairy is on strike, hence no milk, curds or butter tomorrow!!!". I thanked my stars, & Ma Durga, that I in milk too, was a Mother Worshipper, and bought Mother Dairy Milk & not Amul, so, my milk supplier will drop 4 1/2 kg packets of Mother Dairy milk sharp at 7AM.
I promptly U Turned to Lansdowne Market, where a shop , which is open, from 5AM in the Morning to 11PM at night, spare a 4 hour break between 1PM to 5 PM and always has a stock of Milk, Butter & Yoghurt. He had Amul Masti Dahi(Rs28/400grams) which made me mast, mast because, I could fulfil my wife's demand, also because, shall eat awesome Crisp, Amul Butterred ALU Pronthas , with Amul Mast Dahi. Well Amul is a Brand, which came into being, due to a passionate vision, of 'Doodhwala Dude' Late Dr Verghese Kurien, a Syrian Christian from my mother state Kerala , who could not afford an engineering degree from MIT. He was sent to MIT with a bond, that, after completing his degree, he shall return to his motherland India, & served the country, which he did in great style, he found Gujarat Milk Manufacturing & Marketing Federation GMMMF & Anand Milkers Union Limited a cooperative, the acronym of which is AMUL, he beat the Multinational Nestlé at its own game, headed The White Revolution in India known as "Operation Flood" went on to win, the highest civilian honour in India, Bharat Ratna, before he breathed his last, last year, but not before, replicating AMUL in 16 States in India including Rajasthan & West Bengal, with a brand name Saras, Parag, Verka, Mother Dairy etc. He made Cheese Badi Hai mast-mast, masti dahi, Amul Milk Powder, Butter, Yoghurt(Curd) Chaas(buttermilk) Lassi, Shreekhand, Ghee(clarified butter) Milk, and 117 milk related items, then moving to oils ice cream & chocolates, beating brand names like Postman, Kwality, Polson, Nestlé, Cadbury's & Brittania!!!

But well, this is not about Durga Puja!!!
This is not even about Milk!!!
This is not about Dr Verghese Kurien!!!
This is about Buffaloes!!!
 Poor Buffaloes! :(


As I returned home tired, after my expedition "Operation Masti Dahi"
Saala Dimag Ka Dahi Ho Gaya!
I was tired, exhausted, & sweating.
 I took a shower, looked around for newspaper,
Tcha!!! Mera Good Luck Kharaab.
Venu! There were no papers last 4 days you idiot!
I looked for Sunday Papers, which, I hadn't read yet.
Picked Hindustan Times.
Lo Behold!
Voila!!!
Manas Chakravarthy Sunday Middle,
Titled loose canon
Shouted at me.
"Buffaloes should lead 'Make in India' charge"
For those who joined late,
'Make in India'
Is the new buzzword in India
Given by our new Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi.
Trust me, my tiredness was history,
Stomach ache was mystery,
It was laugh a minute non stop,
This was about the plight of poor buffaloes,
In comparison of assortment of other animals,
The Holy Cow, Lion, Peacock, Rat, Dog, Swan, Snake et all.
With reference to Durga Puja,
The story behind Durga Puja,
How Durga atop Lion,
Slayed Mahisasur,
A half man half buffalo,
And came to be known as Mahisasur mardini (as explained by me in another post,
All you wanted to know, about Birendra Krishna Bhadra & Mahisasur Mardini)
And at the end,
I remembered 
THIS SONG
BY
LATE MANNA DE(Described by me here)
MERI BHAINS KO DANDA KYUN MARA?
So here is the video

Meri Bhains
Ko danda kyou Maara
Film:Pagla Kahin Ka
Singer: Manna De
Composer: Shankar Jaikishan
Year: 1970
Actor: Shammi Kapoor.

Suddenly my mind went into a dizzy.
I wracked my brain.
Alas! What Manas da, had said,
About the curious case of the downtrodden buffaloes,
Turned out as a case of Racial Discrimination,
By the Ministry of Transport of Hindu Mythological writers.
With special reference to Hindu Mythology,
Was also true, with reference to
Hindi Lokokti लोकोक्ति (idioms based on folk tales)
&
Hindi Muhawre मुहावरे (Phrases)
So were the references in Bollywood songs, tales & fables,
As well as the physical treatment of the poor buffaloes, in north Indian dairy farms,
Tabela/तबेला
&
Rice farming as plough animals.
I have seen, farmers, in my native state Kerala
Whip the poor buffalo, standing on the plough behind him,
Shouting loudly
"Eda Potey, Eda Ananga Da, Eda Poda, Eda Neengu da"
Loosely translated in English as
"You buffalo, Dude move, Dude go, Dude run, Dude shift"!!!
I wracked my brain,
Delved deeper into my memories,
Of my early childhood Hindi classes, movie watching as well as life!!!
I found that in every rice cultivating place, In India, China, Burma, poor buffaloes were whipped in the same way.
In Bollywood I found another example
Bhainse (Ghode actually) jaisi chaal
Haathi jaisi dum,
Dulhe raaja jee
Kahaan She Aaye tum?
Tak dhum dhum Tak dhum dhum!
Walk like a buffalo
Tail like an Elephant
Dear Bridegroom,
Where have you incarnated from?
Film Dil To Pagal Hai
Singer: Lata Mangeshkar
Composer Jatin Lalit.
Actors: Shahrukh Khan & Madhuri Dixit.

In Hindi Literature?
"Bhains ke aagey been bajana"
"भैंस के आगे बीन बजाना"
Means
Trying to play horn in front of Buffalo
Or
Trying to explain something to a dumb moron!!!

"Jiski Laathi Uski Bhains"
जिसकी लाठी उसकी भैंस!!

Loosely translated into English
Might is right
Or transliterated
The one who wields the stick owns the Buffalo!!!

 "Akal Badi Ya Bhains?"
अकल बडी या भैस?
Meaning
Is Brain bigger or Buffalo?
Meaning Though the Buffalo is Big,
But it has no brains, and even the human brain,
Is technically & conceptually, bigger than the poor Buffalo!!!

 Bhains gayi paani mein"
भैस गई पानी मैं!
Buffalo went into water
Meaning
Your work is spoilt
Or
You're finished!!!
Water poured over all the hard work

Indian Mothers-in-Law
Constantly aspire for
A 'Gori-Chitti'
Fair & Lovely Bride
For their Sons,
That's why
Fair & Lovely Cream
Came into existence!!!

Now even Shahrukh Khan
Is the brand ambassador,
For male version
Fair & Handsome.
With Holy Cow,
Being worshipped, revered, & put on a pedestal
Does Buffalo have any future?
Though Manas Da, makes a strong case for buffaloes,
Make in India case,
Poor Gais have to do with,
Buffalo Jeans Made in India,
Being worn by Yanks,
In Buffalo, New Jersey(Sic!)
Buffalo is in fact in New York State actually! :p
Even the state where Buffalo exists, is named after,
The Milch Cows imported by many of my stand up avatar,
Havaldar Khachedu Singh Tokas' Taus(Uncles)
They aren't even holier than Tau!!!
They can at the most, be 'Gobar Ganesh" "गोबर गणेश"
Or fake avatar of Lord Ganesh made of cow dung!
Bullshit!

The height of injustice ends at the pits of Indian Politics,
There have been 3 Chief Ministers in the State of Bihar,
Whose claim to fame in CV was
"Aji hum to bhainsiya charawat rahey, ka samjhey?
Abahu pultics karat rahin, ejukaysun, ajeetaysun, kunstipaysun
Ke baad ma mukhymantri bane ba!
Kachu samjhat ho kaa babua?
Ki naahi??!!!"
अजी हम तो भैंसिया चरावत रहे, का समझे?
अबहु पुल्टिक्स करत रहिन, एजुकेसन, अजीटेसन, कन्स्टीपेसन,
के बाद मा मुखमँत्री बनै बा!
कछु समझत हो का बबुआ?
की नाही??!!!

Sire, I used to graze buffaloes, now do politics,
After education, agitation, constipation,
Have become the Chief Minister,
Do you understand anything kiddo?"


In Haryana, Late Chaudhary Devi Lal & Late Chaudhari Bhajan Lal,
Both troubled their poor buffaloes, to get on the tractor trolley,
Taking them from "Mharrey Haryane" to "Dilli ssair"
By saying
"Ari zo ttu nna chalyeggi, to manney doodh ghee
Pappu Dewega Kkey Susri? Eeb Manney Maran ka sochya Ssai?"

अरी ज़ो त्तू णा चल्येग्गी, त्तो मन्ने, दूध घी कौण देवेगा सुसरी? पप्पू?
ईब मन्ने मारण क्का सोच्चया सै क्के?

If you dont come with me, who will give me milk & clarified butter You mother-in-law? Pappu?
Have to decided to kill me now?

 I can only can say THIS in the end,
 To the poor Buffalo,
 "Teri Bhains ki Aankh!!!

 Or

To Hell with you!!!
Even Lord Bramhaa, Vishnu, Mahesh,
Goddess Saraswati, Laksmi, Parvati,
Cannot save you my dear Buffalo!

तेरी भैंस की आँख!!!

I'm sure, if buffaloes in India,
Would have been entitled for the Right to Education,
And could read my this blog post,
All they would say is
मााााा
ऐक बोचोर पौरे आशुन,
आमी, ऐखानैई थाकबो,
आमरा दुई जोन,
आमी आर आमार भाई महिशाशुर,
ताडाताडी आशुन,
माथा काटुन,
तारपोर
बीरेंद्र कृष्ण भदरो दादा
आकाशवानी ते मन की बात बोल्बे
न्ना मंकी बाथ न्ना तो!!
जार नाम महिशाशुर मर्दिनी
जॉय दुर्गी
शुभो बिजोया
Maa,
Come after one year.
I shall remain here only,
We both,
I & my brother Mahishasur,

Come fast,
Don't delay OK!
Cut our heads.
 And then later,
Elder Brother Birendra Krishna Bhadra,
Will say his 'Man ki Baat'(Talk straight from heart) on Akashvani,
Not Monkey Bath OK!
The name of which is Mahishasur Mardini.
Joy Durga.
Shubho Bijoya.