Friday, November 29, 2013

VenuG Presents: Meenakshi Lekhi(ko gussan kyon aata hai) ne Twitter par kya likha? Jaane ke liye dekhiye, रवीश की रिपोर्ट

कलकत्ता
शुक्रवार २९-११-२०१३

खबर : भाजपा वक्ता मीनाक्षी लेखी ने , तरुण तेजपाल प्रकरण मे पीडिता का नाम, ट्विट्टर पर उजागर किया.

निम्नलिखित लेख, मिथ्य घटनाओं पर आधारित है. कृप्या इसेे एक कटाक्ष या हास्य लेखन समझें!
लेख का ऊद्देश्य, केवल लोगों को हंसाना मात्र है!
लेखक का किसी भी जीवित या मृत व्यक्ती का चरित्रहरण या को हानी पँहुचाना नही है
वेणुगोपाल मेनॉन
एसी टिप्पणी, मैने आज तक, किसी ब्लॉग में नही करी है.
धन्यवाद.
.....................

रवीश : हैलो! राजनाथ जी,
रवीश की रिपोर्ट से रवीश बोल रहा
हुँ!! सर, मीनाक्शी जी ने, ट्विट्टर पर,
तेजपाल काँड मे लिप्त पीडिता
का नाम, ट्विटटर पर ऊंडेल दिया है,
आप कुछ टिप्पऩी करना चाहते हैं?
********
भाजपा अध्यक्ष: नमश्कार रवीश जी,
अब क्या कहैं?
लेखी का लिखा कौन टाल सकता है?
ट्विट्टर भी नहीं
******
रवीश: राजनाथ जी, मीनाक्षी लेखी
ने, वह चहक नष्ट कर दिया है. अब
आप क्या उनपर, कोई कठोर कदम
उठाऐंगे?
*******
राजनाथ: रवीश जी, आप इतना क्यों
चहक रहें हैं? पहले उस चेतन भगत
पर तो कोइ ठोस कदम उठाए?
******
रवीश: पर चेतन भगत तो...
****
राजनाथ: ठीक है जावेद अख़तर पर
ही सही!!
******
रवीश: और मधु किशवर जी पर?
******
राजनाथ: अबबबब. अबबब हैल्लयू,
रवीश जी, कुछ आवाज अस्पष्ट सी
.... बीप बीप बीप डिस्कनेक्ट
*****
रजत शर्मा, इंडिया टी वी से
राजनाथ जी...
******
राजनाथ: पहले उस शायर से सवाल
करो, जिसने तेजपाल को अचछा
पुरुष बताया... बीप बीप...
********
आषुतोष: राजनाथ जी, ...
********
राजनाथ की तरफ से... बीप बीप बीप
*******
कुछ समय पश्चात
********
हैल्लो, मीनाक्शी, आइ एम नाविका
कुमार फ्रॉम द न्यूज़हावर स्टूडियोज़,
औरनोब वाँट्ज़ टु हैव ए वर्ड विद
यू, आर यू फ्री नॉव?
******
मीनाक्शी: येस अॉफ कोर्स, एस
ए बी जे पी स्पोक्सपर्सन, आई
एम अॉलवेज़ रेडी टू आन्सर,
अॉल युवर कोश्चन्स, पुट हिम
थ्रू प्लीज़ नाविका...
अरनब: लेडीज़ एण्ड जेंटसमेन,
दिस इस दा न्यूज़हावर, एण्ड
आई एम युवर होस्ट अरनब
गोस्वामी, लाईव, फ्रॉम दा
मुम्बइ स्टूडियोज़ अॉफ
टाइम्सनाव.
टुडे वी हैव जस्ट वन गेसट
अॉन स्काइप फ्रोम हर
डेल्ही रेज़ीडेंस, दिस इस
ब्रेकिंग स्टोरी, हेन्स, लेट मी
स्ट्रेटअवे पुट यू टु मिस
मीनाक्शी लेखी इन डेल्ही
गुड ईविनिंग मीनीक्षी, वेल्कम
टू दा न्यूज़हावर
*****
मीनाक्षी: लुक्स बोर्ड, वेटिंग
फॉर अरनब्ज़ लॉंग मोनोलॉग
टू एण्ड! हैलो अरनब!!!
******
अरनब: मीनाक्षी, ओह! इट्ज़
सो अनफॉरच्युनेट फॉर मी,
टु आस्क मीनाक्षी लेखी
दा बी जे पी स्पोक्सपर्सन,
देट -दिस हेड टु हैप्पन(अरनब
मट्टर्ज़ अंडर हिस ब्रेथ)
*** वेणूजी कम्मेट्स***
आइ एम वेटिंग अरनब!!!
जस्ट फॉर दोस फाईव
गोल्डन वर्डज़ व्ही हियर
डे आफ्टर डे!! कम अॉन डूड!!
******
अरनब: गेस्पस फॉर सम ब्रेथ
मीनाक्षी, दी कंटरी द टेक्सपेयर
वाँट्ज़ टु नो(टेम मीटर अॉबसर्व्ज़
दा न्यूज़हावर टी आर पी मेक्ज़ीमम
एट दिस वेरी मोमेंट!!!)
डिड यू अॉर डिड यू नॉट!!
रिवील द नेम अॉफ दा विक्टम
इन दा तरुण तेजपाल केस?
******
मीनाक्षी: टोटल साइलेंस
देन बीप बीप बीप
*******
वाट हैप्पेन्ड नेक्सट, वास,
आन ट्विट्टर
......
हाऊ इट हेप्पन्स फॉर देट,
रीड माई ब्लॉग
"Facebook chale
Twitter challe, nainon tale,
Arnab ko kyon khaley hey?"
Read my other posts.
The name is Bond, Shames Bond, Amar Jyoti Kalita Guwahati Molestation for JusticeForWomen

Crimes of India, Tarun Tejp ka Tehelka Politics vs IPL vs Mefia

Punish Tarun Tejpal NOT Tehelka
" SaveTehelkaDothCome "
Above
My other posts are worth a read
On the subject of Justice for women, misogyny, crimes against Women.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

VenuG Presents: If Tarun Tejpal is Ramalinga Raju, Tehelka is Satyam, Where are the Kiran Karniks, Deepak Parekhs Nandan Nilekanis And Tech Mahindras? Save Tehelka Doth Come

Hi Boys & Girls.
Sorry to butt in into a "Journalism School reunion"
A) No!!! I'm not a journalist!
B) I'm a PSU Banker by Profession.
C) I'm a Mentor by Passion.
D) I'm a fearless crusader for the "Aam Aadmi" using help, cutting across party lines.
E) By my ideology, I'm left of centre capitalist!! (I'm sure, you journalist, would NEVER get what it means) I am a trade union activist for 27 years, who rolled over, the first foray into Banking Automation, using computers, networks & delivery channels, which a Kolkata Commie despises, whom I find despicable!! I ask clerical trade unions, to fight first for regularisation of temps, before they ask for higher wages, tell my officers union, "Stop supporting outsourcing, will increase graft & crime"(Bangalore ATM??) oppose variable pay(will see bank branches like Nariman Point, Fort, being auctioned to highest bidder, like Byculla & Nala Sopara Thana) I for 18 years now, ALWAYS start the proceedings of my officers association open house, at its triennial conference with standard lines "Syndicate Bank Officers Association, PUHLEEZ note the order of words, Syndicate Bank stays, Officers stay, Officers stay, Association stays, job stays, salary stays, family stays, piece of mind stays. Respect your organisation, without which your reputation, family, your self esteem, your status in the society is ZERO!!! -like someone said TT is 100 SC is 00 without the prefix 1-

Beware, CEO & you are BOTH EMPLOYEES of the organisation, Organisation, is bigger than you or CEO. Safeguard its existence, by your ethical deeds. Once the organisation becomes -ve net worth , your goodwill becomes -ve!!!

F) Having achieved public works, worth Rs5000 crores in last 25 years, in Moradabad, Jaipur(also home town) Mumbai, Bikaner, Mathura, Agra, & now Kolkata(all places, where i lived for work) Trichur(native place) using, Congress, BJP, CPM, SP, BSP, Lok Dal, Forward Block & Shiv Sena. I like the Communism of Kerala(NOT BENGAL) BJPism of Rajasthan, MP & Maharashtra, not BI(MAR)U .
G) The events of present post Y2K GenX materialistic & ethic less society, we have seen mirth, in every pillar of democracy. Executive, Judiciary, Legislature & Media. The only Column, which is working efficiently, is "The Fifth Column"!!!

So dear Indians, shoot the messenger, not the message, Don't throw the Johnson Baby, with the Johnson Soapy water!!!

H) I have just liked one comment above, which compares "Tarun Tejpal" with "Ramalinga Raju" & "Tehelka" with "Satyam"
I) My question to Shefali Vaidya, Balakrishnan, Abhishek Kashyap & one more.... "The 100 odd journalists, can find jobs in other media houses EASILY" Really? Ha!!!
Ask me, a seasoned Mentor, I'm asking kids to quit infosys & tcs & join IOC, SAIL, IISc, IIT, IIM & PSU Banks, telling school kids to quit pcmb commerce & switch to humanities, stay vernacular, study English as core, Mandarin, Deutsch, Hindi, Tamil, Marathi, Bangla(or some such) I doubt, if you work for the media!!! How many have been laid off by Outlook, Caravan, Times Quest etc etc lately? Ad revenue is at rock bottom, there is severe recession in the media career space, matching the aviation, hospitality, ITES & Realty!! No guys, those 100 kids need a Kiran Karnik, Deepak Parekh & Tech Mahindra!!!

Or Else, media watchers will say "Keda Sher, Keda Tehelka, Keda Saand, KD Singh?? Bheegi Billi ja chuha banaa ditta, ais Tejpal ney ungal karke!!!


Get real, in recession, Tehelka MUST STAY.

The REAL NEWS
Is between ToI White, Living Media Saffron, The Hindu & ABP Red, HT, NDTV IBN Green & Tehelka Yellow, only when all the colours are absorbed & dispelled , do you get news in Black & White for the Aam Aadmi.
#JaiHind

Monday, November 25, 2013

VenuG Presents: Media Positioning.. Politics v/s IPL v/s Media A Nostradamus POV :-)

The time is right
For United Breweries
To chuck Kingfisher,
And bring a new brand
Of Rum
Called
Xxx4PM
Then he could have
A 4PM Calender
With 52 weeks
52 Models are readily available
From the field of
Politics, Media & Cricket!!!
A sudden spurt of thoughts
On a status on "Media Ownership & its misuse" by Peri Maheshwar
CEO Careers360
On how editorial slant has
Adjusted with a view to 
Lok Sabha 2014 Elections in India.
 Please Note:This is fiction, purely a spoof,
A hypothetical view of mine,
Figment of my imagination.
Keep Laughing.
¥enjoy
Http://Twitter.com/Venuspeak
Cricket Shicket Ticket
Rabba Rabba
Hai mere rabba
Mainoon Chuck lai.
Maa da laadla Big Ad gaya.
Munda Kanda
Munda Kanda
Munda Kanda
O Rabbaaaa Mainoon Chuck Laid!
Kolkata, 24th November, 2013

Peri, you're the insider(Sunny Gavasker), 

I'm just an observer Like Ravi Shastri(CSDS Prannoy Roy) 
From where I see it,
I can see... 
Chaubey(Dhoni) Mayawati4PM has replaced
 Rajdeep(Ganguly) who's now the 12th Man 
due to just in case Eden Garden
Test Hobey Nna- Kejriwal4PM) 

Kanwal(Virat Hundu Kohli) NaMo4PM .
 Barkha(Shukla ) has no option but to stick to whoever BCCI(PMO) or Dalmiya(7, Race Course Road) . 
Shekhar (Tendulkar retired) Rohit(Who?) Is new Mumbai Indian, scores century gives credit to Shekhar(T) 
& hobnobs with Nita Bhabhi,(UPA in pocket),
Rahul4PM & To Jaitley(BJP) & NaMo4PM . 
Shoma (Mamata) Replaces Tejpal(Sibal) Mamata4PM


That leaves OurNoob(Joker in the pack, 
he's the Lalit Modi) Makes a Lot of Noise, 
against UPA BJP MMS NaMo AAP Shazia . 
He doesn't listen to anyone, 
doesn't let anyone talk, 
Nothing comes out of OurNoobs banter. 
Nor does he want it! Because, if everything is reformed, there wont be any
"The Question we are asking Tonight"
 left for OurNoob to ask no? 
Then NewsHour becomes Fuse hour!! 


          The only phone calls he takes is from 
Across the borders, 
from Islamabad, 
From Dubai 
&
From New YAark. 
From London 
From old foggies, with dentures, golf caps, 
Punjabi Yankee drawl,but he gets them insulted by panelists. :-) 

Conclusion: 
Whatever happens, the bets are placed, matches are spot fixed, the final call is in the finger tips of speed dials from Klifton Karachi, Or Dubai, of Soho .

       All we have to do is book the tickets of IPL(Lok Sabha India 2014)
Like we book Onions & Daalers & Potatoes, 
& Salt. 

    Go for the match(elections), 
or
Watch it from our hotel rooms at Pataya(Thigh Land)
 or
On Twitter, where,
We could rant, debate, diss, cuss, argue, troll,
make pun, spoof, satire, stand up act, #parkytweets
&
jokes. 
The winner is PRe decided(by opinion polls) 
Then argue post match result
Finally drink some scotch & wait for the next match.(election) 
Peri(Sunny) Isn't This l, what happens in Indian democracy & politics?
No one's bothered to reform it, no reform will happen, no ones gonna give a damn to the result. Who ever wins, we lose pur 1000 bucks. #JaiHind
We are sorry guys
We have to call of the political party tonight
Miltein Hain,
Ek 5 Sal ke Khit-Khat-Khat-Pat-Jhat-Pat-Chottu-Mottu-Pappu-Feku
Break ke Bad!!!
Tab Tak,
Karl Tak
Keep Laughing.
Hanste Raho....
Jaagte Raho...
¥enjoy


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

VenuG Presents: Why Bharatiya Mahila Bank? Chidiya Rani, Badi Sayani, Yeh to Papa ki bhi Nani. :)

Good Morning
You suck blogger!!!
I'm writing this all over again.
Just when, I had finished this post,
You deleted everything.
I did a wonderful job,
But looking at the research I did,
For this post,
I'm not grumbling,
As my earlier post on NPA,
Is  a hit, so , this one too shall be.
Since, I'm an insider, with 27 years of hardcore Banking exposure,
 At levels starting from Rural, to international business, to Infotech, from treasury & international banking, to personal banking, retail to wholesale, from cash management, to resource management to logistics.
At this very moment I deal with supplies, to eastern region, to all eastern States, except Udisha. The support of resources for inclusive Banking & financial inclusion.
Here it goes.
The real subject,
Shall come, after a very long prologue.
End with an epilogue.

Prologue
=======







Why Bharatiya Mahila Bank?
Referred to as BMB hereinafter

Good Morning.
I have 104° Fever.
Today is 20th November, 2013.
I login to Twitter.
The first tweet that I read is by Chidiya Rani.
A.K.A. http://twitter.com/SomeBirdie
@SomeBirdie

Which reads like
*****

" @SomeBirdie: I'm a feminist but to me, Bharatiya Mahila Bank does not make much sense. It is nothing more than a normal Bank with all female employees."
*****

YES CHIDIYA RANI, IT VERY MUCH DOES! ITS THE NEED,
OF THE HOUR, I SHALL DEAL WHY LATER.




The tweet struck me, like a lightning here was someone, a woman, a feminist,
a career woman, originally from Nainital hills, educated, from Delhi, now married,
and living in Bengaluru, and who has just started working again, after a brief gap.
Asking, why a uni-sex bank, can't serve a female client??!!

Me, I'm a PSU Banker, a student of commerce, Studied Money, Banking & Finance, from 1975-76, Xth Commerce, 1976-77 XIth Commerce, 1977-81,
B.Com, 1981-83 M.Com(Accountancy & Busines Statistics, with Banking & Economics) & 1991-94, M.B.A.(Finance) again with Banking, a Career Banker,
with 28 years of service, 1985-2013(present) 3 years rural service, a CAIIB from Indian Institute of Bankers & a Diploma in Banking, from The University
of Rajasthan, Jaipur. Now, that I'm working for a PSU Banker, was not sufficient enough, for me, to react to react to her tweets . I work with Syndicate Bank,
the history of which in itself is inclusive.
See this, why & how we started. And we still, are, THE ONLY BANK, WITH ITS HEADQUARTERS IN A VILLAGE!!! Manipal in Dakshina Kannada.
    We are not only inclusive, but also proactive towards farmers & rural folk, women, youth, our motto is "SMALL MANS BIG BANK. We started, our first all women branch, in Gandhinagar, Bangalore, not now, but in 1962!!!
see link.
We started opening all women branches, left, right, & centre, employed a lot of women, in Matunga, Mumbai, Sethi Colony, Jaipur, INA Colony, Delhi.

At one time, we had 10 all women branches. Our Sethi Colony, Jaipur, branch, had only one male employee, Shyam Lal, he still works at our Regional Office Jaipur. Two of the women staff, of that branch, Neelu Mathur & Sandhya Goel, about to retire, still call
him Shyamu, he was a small boy then. Though, all those branches, are now, mixed branches no longer, all women branches. except our Matunga Main,
Mumbai Branch!
Why? Later.


PS: THIS IS NOT ABOUT SYNDICATE BANK, BUT AN INTRODUCTION , WAS NEEDED, for,
letting you know, why, the 4 Tweets by @SomeBirdie forced me to write this post!
I'm speaking & writing this, as an individual. This must not be under any circumstances
be considered , the official position of the Bank. This is for academic purposes, &
in no way, should be considered, as my official position. I act in my official capacity,
as per the policies of my employer.


Then She tweets
*****

" @SomeBirdie: They could have made a rule for all banks to have atleast 1 branch in each city with all female employees. That would have made more sense."

*****
Again, as I mentioned above, there were all ladies branches, but then, we had to convert them into mixed gender branches! Why? We found, customers, of that area, were mostly male, there was a tranport nagar, nearby, and most of the customers, were related to truck & transport operators & their employees. Women staff & officers, getting married, and getting transferred, lack of suffiecient female personell. Remember, this was 1960-1980, my own sister Joined SBBJ, via BSRB(State bank recruitment board 1st exam) in 1978 and she was a minoity, She and another friend of hers, joining, United India Insurance company, & another friend, joining State Bank of Indore, were a few exceptional cases, that I knew of in the late 1970s, mind you, I knew over 200 women then, of which, except the group of 6, that my sister belonged to, everyone else, married, and, never took a career!!! It was much later, when I graduated, 15-20% women joined workforce. I remember, in my Class of 83 in The University, I had 7 senior & 6 female classmates, in a combined class of 120, out of the 13, only 4 took up career. In my Pribationer Batch, there were 6/960 women! Plus, licensing regime, was such, if there was a branch, in Sethi Colony, which was all female manned, we could NOT open another all male branch, not only us, but no other bank could! So, the early experiments,
of all female branches failed to stay for long. Mind you, the experiment in itself was a success, as we could canvass a substantial business, from housewives, female professionals, out of these all female branches, which is one of my moot points, Why, BMB , is needed. Women, especially for borrowal accounts, feel comfortable, dealing with women, and overawed by men!!!


*****
@SomeBirdie: When there's no discrimination made b/w men & women in the existing banking system, y create something new? Seems like an election gimmick.
***--


*****

@SomeBirdie: If they really wanted to help rural women they should have opened all-female-employee based new branches of current state banks in villages.
*****





Monday, November 18, 2013

VenuG Presents M.J.Akbar, Mamata Didi, Cameron and Calcutta A Win-Win situation.


I read this interesting piece of Op-Ed, in the Sunday 17th November, 2013, edition of The Sunday Times(timesofindia) by M.J.Akbar, erstwhile editor, The Sunday, one of the first few English language weekly magazines in India, from the stables of Ananda Bazaar Patrika stables, which used to come out from Kolkata, in the eighties & nineties, till Mr Akbar, decided to join Politica & contest in an Election. Mr Akbar, who has spent, a substantial time of his prime life, in Calcutta(much before, it became Kolkata) is an old hand at Calcutta, and is qualfied, to comment on the matters, relating to the city, because, he has lived in Calcutta, when it still was a cultural hub, and a production hub, of intellectuals of very high calibre. When, after reading it in the print, I tried to share the same, on Twitter, via
https://Twitter.com/Venuspeak
which I
frequently do, whenever, I find an interesting piece in the media, I found loads of comments, opposing & supporting Mr Akbar.

I felt in strong agreement with Mr Akbar's POV, and further to this, I found, many pravasi bangalis( Bengalis who migrated from Bengal,(after left took over) non Bangalis, who never lived in India, and some few Locals.

I felt the need to verbalize my strong views, on why Kolkata Rocks, & why, most of the prospective investors to Bengal are robbers more than investors or entrepreneurs!!!

Before iI come to the issue
&
Communicate my point of view
Let me tell you
Something about myself.
I'm a born extrovert,
Have lived in 17 cities in India,
And I acclimatize myself into every city, town or village,
Assimilate into its psyche and culture.
I came into Kolkata(I did not come to Calcutta)
At the time, June 2009, when social media,
Facebook & Twitter, were in its nascent stage.
I had an account on Gmail, Yahoo & Orkut,
I was an Orkutiya, when I entered Kolkata.
My very old & good buddy, Shifali Ummatt,
Send an invite to my this Facebook account.
Without boring you, here is my account,
Of how, I became VenuG, from K.Venugopal Menon.
THIS