Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Match Ends & The Game Begins :Axe Cricket (AXE googly)

Statutory Warning : My Blogs are Sarcasm , Satirical & Humour ... Guys & Gals .. Be Normal

My intention is to Make you Laugh

To bring back sanity , into the media hype creating a war like situation , with stress levels rising

Buddies .. Keep your cool , you're spending much on HDTV , TICKETS , DTH , COKE , PEPSI , CHIPS , KURKURE , Save money on Health at least ..

Keep Smiiiiiiiiiillllingggg .. Deep breath & cool tempers

Mother of all battles Ha I have my Amma
I don't want none other to replace her .

The idea of this germinated , by an Axe googly deo billboard ***** When the MATCH ends , the GAME begins .. *****
Set my mind working .. What if India Wins & What if Pak wins .. I wrote some tweets #IfIndiaWins #IfIndiaLoses #IfPakWins #IfPakLoses .. Read on .

Gooooooood Moooooorrrrrning Friends
Today is Wednesday 30th April , 2011
India v/s Pakistan #cwc2011 Semi-Final
I am not giving you the date as per Indian Calender , because You will ask , Hindu Solar / Lunar , Jain , Buddhist , Muslim Calenders .

Giving you the link where you can check the date in your choice

Rahu Kalam : 9-12 , 7.30 to 10.30

Look @ the time Carefully ... means India should Bat First between
'' Dhai Kabhi Bajengey , Dhai Kabhi Bajengey ? '' :-)
& 19:30 ,

because .. India's Forte is batting , If they bat during Rahu Kalam or Rahul Kalam .. They are doomed .

Rahul Kalam : Whenever Desh Ka Pota enters Mohali stadium .. I advise .. He stays @ Governors Residence & Watch on LCD When India is batting so around 18:30 should be the time he should enter , after India bats .. Desh ki bahu Priyanka & Jaamai Bob Vadra should .. AS CAMERAMAN GOTTA HAVE 1 UNPAINTED FACE WEARING A SAREE NO ? Pakistan Team will look @ her dimple on the Giant Screen & get hit by a Tsunami .

The Law of averages says India wins the toss .. Looking @ the Rahu Kalam .. India Bats .. Rahul Kalam adjusts accord to India batting ..
My Blog Subject is After the Match .. The Game begins

An assessment of What if situations .. Taught to us well by Late Dr R.N.Singh , the then Director of R.A.Poddar Institute of Management Studies , Jaipur during M.B.A. Class of 1994 . My treatment is a tribute to him .

On Twitter

@jhunjhunwala Yeah .. I will offer Ice cream to all the boys & Big collective (((Hug to all the ladies )))

@bankerrahul Yeah , I'm so happy #SachinIsGod has scored 100th 100 & India won .. I will not sleep & have some Farsan

@Decloned_ITaz Sorry for rooting for Pakistan :p I knew India will win

@mehtarutvi India won because of #IfIndiaWins tweets by VenuG

@kyzerAhmed VenuG , I'm happier today by the Team India #win more than I was yesterday when I found my name in in #IBS B-School list yeah !

@TheSmartBilli Aiyo .. Innu Enikyu Etray
Santosham kitti parayan pattillya
'' Today, I can't tell you how happy I am ''

@varunrayas Its Diwali in NITTE .. VenuG how's Dhruv ?
@marvisirmed Congratulations India .. I'm going .. C'mon guys .. You know Main kitni dukhi hoon .

@sidin So we won. Hell no match tomorrow ?

@madversity I'm witnessing the Wild Cup at Mawali

@bhogleharsha You know it was a Rocker of a game , And so unfortunate , there can be only 1 winner .

@vikramchandra It was a topsy turvy match , but luckily , India won, let us be gracious in celebration

@sardesairajdeep Finally the Jingoism & Hullaballoo of War ended , & in the end Cricket won
(posts & vanishes )

@BDUTT The game will bring a lot of sanity in the India Pak Person to Person relationship , it was so emotional .. Remembered Imagine by Lennon

@Sagarikaghose All the hue and cry , happy that India won, I thank our pakistani neighbours for being so sportive .
@kvenugopalmenon Its a game , its a match , there is only 1 winner .. The Game of cricket won.
The Game begins
The after effects in India

UPA : Stronger , Better , Bolder .. @DrYumYumSingh Will become more soft spoken & giving .. He will sign an accord called Besharm al Shake

Rahul Kalam : will end & Rahul Baba will quit politics & Beti Priyanka will join politics

Opposition : MMS will invite NaMo to watch the finals at Wankhede & scratch each others back , MMS with the Left Hand , NaMo with the right praising each others role in Quarter final win & Semi final win. And together they #win the #cwc2011 Finals , Sharing equal credits .. A real win-win situation

NaMo : Becomes the Prime Ministerial Candidate in waiting . Beating @SushmaSwarajBJP & Arun Jaitley (who become ICC Chief to oust PAWAR Power

NCP : Aligns with SS and is found allegedly involved in a scam & is ousted from ICC .

Sourav Ganguly Becomes BCCI President

Largesse :Robert Vadra Promises every player Land in Gurgaon .

1983 Team : BCCI sets a fund to support Kapil Dev , Madan Lal , Mohinder Amarnath , Kirmani to get a monthly pensio for 28 years of excellent services towards , the television channels , and stipulates a minimum if 1 show during every future world cup, as a humanitarian & compassionate measure.

Largesse: Behen Mayawati issue 4500 crores to build 15 Elephants at 300 locations one for each player

Largesse : Puratchi Thalaivi , adds a cricket kit to each family

Largesse : Kalaignar offers the role of cricket expert to Spinner Aswin
More #IfIndiaWins & #IfPakWins coming up .. Not keeping well .. Will finish by18:30 hours before Rahu Kalam
This page is under construction .. I write ex-tempore .. Without revision .. free flow of of thoughts ..

To be continued ...

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

How to beat the Australian's, in Quarter Finals, of The ICC Cricket World Cup, 2011, at Motera Stadium , Ahmedabad, on Thursday, 24th March 2011

Rule 1 Forget Cricket
Rule 2 Use Psychological Warfare
Rule 3 Play the Mindgame
Rule 4 Offence is the best form of defense
Rule 5 Play Players who throw attitude
Those who ooze with confidence & are masters in Drama , Emotions , sledging , cheating, cheap gimmicks, Shout, Loudly appeal, do the post goal football type drama at every appeal or wicket.
Rule 6 Bowling is the key not batting
Rule 7 play 6 bowlers dropping one complete batsman (don't drop Pathan he bowls)
Rule 8 batsman to be ideally dropped if I were the coach is Sachin Tendulkar , as Gauti , Kohli, Raina , Pathan Yuvi & Veeru all are attackin
Rule 9 don't pounce on me,explain to Sachin, boss we are winning the #cwc2011 for you , & you are back in the semi's ! If you play & we lose here, this is your last world cup, and we won't be able to gift you the cup anyways . .. Your dropping & picking Sreesanth in your place will shock the Ozzies to death , & half the match is won !
Rule 10 If Australian's win the toss they'd elect to bat First, so should you elect to bowl 1st & get them out. As against West Indies Ask Aswin to bowl the First over with Sreesanth . The Ozzies will have the second Heart Attack
Rule 11 Try to get Ponting out by placing a forward short leg, asking Bhajji to bowl to him, he'd be either stumped, or caught at the Mid on or Square leg
Rule 13 The team
From the team which played against West Indies
If Sehwag is fit Drop Sachin & Munaf
And take Sehwag & Sreesanth
If Sehwag is unfit drop Munaf
And take Sreesanth
Gauti, Sehwag / Sachin, Yuvi , Kohli , Raina , Dhoni, Sreesanth , Zak , Bhajji , Aswin Nehra (yes Nehra)
12th man Sachin Tendulkar
My notes & reason
Strategy is to win seriously !

Indian players need more Goggles , Suntan Cream & Chewing Gum than cricketing skills . Ozzies can be defeated psychologically easily

Best Players to throw attitude at Ozzies are Bhajji language, Yuvi Look, Raina Goggles, Gauti Bandana , Sreesanth Suntan, Sehwag & Kohli

Those extolling about #SachinIsGod my statement.. A quick breezy Srikanth style Cheeka Cheeky 70 would do India good than 100th 100
It could be possible if Sachin is dropped & Sehwag is taken (if he is 100% MaTch fit) in the interest of Team India

We do not want Players like Sunny Gavasker, Bedi, Vengsarkar, Dravid , VVS or Dilip Doshi

On Bowling front, I would take out Munaf from team that faced WI and add Sreesanth to put a psychological pressure on Ozzie batting

If he keeps his bowling line & length in control & bounces the ball @sreesanth36 is the only Lillee, Thompson, Imran like aggro #cwc2011

More than performance on cricketing skills, it is the Chappel-Sourav like situation in Team India that worries me, hardly *TEAM* #cwc2011

#MSD post match body language & utterances hardly indicate any team cohesion & leadership quality but Haughty & Bossy attitude #cwc2011


This is a 50 over 1 day match
That too Cricket World Cup
Not a test match
And that too against Australia
Ozzies are master's of mindgame
They win a match or the series
Before even 1 ball is bowled
They then sledge
Finally cheat
Bowl underarm
Use laws to get batsmen out by handling the ball
Running out in bowling run up
Then they pick up a fight
All this is to break the focus of opposition players
And make them afraid enough to piss in their pants
Only 7 players have been able to make the SHIT scared yet inn the history of cricket
Larwood , Clive Lloyd , Imran Khan , Sourav Ganguly , Harbhajan Singh Mutthaiah Muralitharan & Vivian Richards
Offence & Gaali Galoch
Showing them middle finger is only answer to Australian Mind Games
Ponting just answered
I go by Umpires decision
Tendulkar walked
This is not a test
If Tendulkar scores a century
Yuvi & Kohl & Pathan fail
That means India is out of the world cup
World cup is a world cup
Country is more important than your image / records
20000 runs or 100th 100
#cwc2011 #WC11
ICC Cricket World cup 2011

I love my country
I love cricke
I love Team India
These are my views
I'm not the selector
So no cries fighting abusing or insulting me
SachinIsGod to me too God of Gentleman's Cricket
This is ICC Cricket World Cup 2011
And the opponent is Owstraaylya Mayte
Jai Hind
Ja Hey
Jai Ho