Monday, June 11, 2012

Kill two birds with one stone : WHY NOT MAKE ARNAB GOSWAMI PRESIDENT OF INDIA ? An Open letter from a Madrasi to Sonia Ji

Getting Right Man for the right job, round pegs for round holes, square pegs for square holes. 
An Open Letter to Sonia Gandhi. 
Why Pranab Kumar Mukherjee is ineligible for Raisina Hill ? !!!

Smt Sonia Gandhi
Chairperson, UPA
10, Janpath,
Nai Dilli - 110 001

Dear Sonia ji,

Hope all is well with you and Rahul ji. I wish you all the health and happiness.

     Madam,  I have been recieving conflicting reports, rumours and news from Main Sream Media, that you are considering, Shri Pranab Kumar Mykherjee, Mananiya Vitta Mantri, and Shri Satyanarayan Gangaram Pitroda popularly known as Sam Pitroda for the post of Mananiya Rashtrapati.

                             This news pains me because Raising them to Raisina Hills , will have the learned Gentlemen, simply to eat Rum and Raisins chocolates , rather than fight your Jung from Jangipur. You will also break your vada to Vadodara. 

                         Madam, is this your way of Doing a "Dinesh Trivedi" a la Mamata Didi ? More importantly , my question is who are your new " Mukul Roys" !!!

                        I don't consider  these learned gentlemen, for the esteemed post of "A Rubber Stamp" 

WHY ? Read on ...
 Madam sonia ji, The President of India has to have a certain qualifications, so that they can be lampooned by cartoonists, made a butt of jokes by stand up comics like Cyrus Braocha and   @KunalVijaykar on @Weekathatwasnt , be a subject for twitter outrage for 260 weeks, or be a reason for Arnab Goswami to devote at least one entire @thenewshour twice a month on them

      Madam, if none of the above happens, there will be no option for the "Aam Janta" to buy more Aam, Seb and Santra from fruit vendors, thereby raising the prices of fruits causing inflation for the 2% population, who only can consume fruits This will also result in the huge popularity of Team Anna, as devoid of any fun and games, public will throng The Anna "Anna Tyaag" on July 25th !!!

@thenewshour will look like this with more boxes , consisting of @DeShobhaa @suhelseth Lord Meghnad Desai , @Siddharthmallya Shaina N C lamenting on the high prices of Aapus, strawberry and cream and Shiv Sena spokesperson Rahul Navrekar expressing Balasaheb Thakres ire at his partyworkers not being able to gift him Ratnagir Haapus to him. Punching a hole into UPA policies making it go "Phus"

                     The boxes in @thenewshour

 Which could be quite similar to the MTV SHOW HIP HOP SQUARES like Tic-Tac-Toe "Hollywood Squares

                   Further Sonia ji have they the following expolits or sexploits to prove their credentials, to the post of Mananiya Rashtrapati ? 

Have they been able to raise $125 billion , Like Luis de Guindos. @DeGuindosLuis The Ministry of Economy and Finance (Spanish: Ministerio de Economía y Hacienda) to save Spanish Banks, which are worse off than Indian Banks.

Neither does Shri Pitroda, know how to make Dhokla like Vikas Khanna , the Michellin star chef as @smithaverma tells us ,  Nor does Pranob Da know how to make Bhapa Ilish or Ilish Shorshe, like Bhaskar Dasgupta of Oh! Calcutta or BAKED HILSA WITH SWEET TURKISH CHILLIES like Sujan Mukherjee of Taj Bengal. Moreover, if you remove him from the post of Vitta Mantri, you will keep us Bangalis devoid of cheap affordable Hilsa from accross the border, from River Padma in Bangladesh. Can you please , instead ask him to do trouble shoot, which he does effectively to mediate between Mamata Didi & Sheikh Hasina Wajed to solve the price of Ilish ?
   Jodi apni ei korben tai ami shobai "jodi ilish" khaben :((( . 

                          They 'to' , don't even know how to make Pronthaas at AICC conferences like Pratibha Tai Patil or serve Aloo Posto and Luchi to Late Rajiv Gandhi Like Mamata Didi did at 1984 session of AICC at Netaji Indoor Stadium, Kolkata.

Nor do they forget their Daughter at a Pub like David Cameron does!!!

Nor do they have friendly chats with Newspaper editors like David Cameron does, nor do they sms ending with " Lol " like he did to Rebekah Brooks

Nor do they shake their Dhunga Dhunga and do Dhinka Chika Dhinka Chika with underage girls like Silvio Berlusconi did at his Bunga Bunga parties

They didn't even marry in between term Like President Bling Bling , Monsieur Sarkozy married Carla Bruni :( 

They aren't even as bad as the Heads of European Hedge fund Managers, who lent to Greece millions of dollars when its debt to GDP ratio was well over EU limit of 60% when it was actually 115%.

They aren't even capable of throwing foam pie at like Jonathan May-Bowles A.K.A. Jonnie Bowles

                      The Hon'ble President , Sonia ji must be incompetent, corrupt, and detestable, the two esteemed gentelmen have no such qualifications. Hence may i suggest three names please ?

1. B Ramalinga Raju ex CEO Satyam Infotech Qualification: Accounting scandal
2 Ketan Parekh Stock Broker Qualification: Insider Trading
3 Harvinder Singh Qualification: Serial Slapper Slapgate

or Alternatively 
4 Arnab Goswami Qualification: Exposing UPA II Scams night after night THIS WILL BE A MASTERSTROKE AS this will kill " Two Birds with one stone " as DNA has already asked the question " Why not make Arnab Goswami Prime Minister ? "

  I can safely extend the question further, and pose the following question to you Sonia ji 


Arnab for President
Result shall be 365*5 days of Laughter
Don't they say
"Laughter is the best Medicine"
Keep laughing
Thanking You in anticipation
Yours Etcetra
A Madrasi Marwari
June 10th, 2012
Jai Hind